What Will You Tell Yourself in 20 Years?

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Graduation time is upon us - so much has been learned, so much learning awaits. Some things are cool to learn, some not ~ I wish I’d learned more from others and spared myself a lot of pain. So, to my students (and friends & clients of all ages), here’s some advice that those of us who graduated in the 20th century wish we’d learned upon entering the ‘‘real world.” Please add some and share them with me!

  • Show, don't tell;

  • Know what you can, and can’t, control;

  • Show up!! Be Present!! Don’t wait around for things to come to you!

  • Use your skills & interests (you have more than you think) - the more you say it, the more you become it! Volunteer! Engage!

  • Be your own best advocate - don’t wait for someone else - talk about your talents & victories;

  • Don’t be afraid to fail - it’s a form of learning & applying … and it means you tried;

  • You may be able to have it all - but not all at once;

  • Just because you get along well with your peers, doesn’t mean you’ll be a good manager;

  • It’s good to feel out of your depth - it means you’re learning;

  • Talk to people, ask them about their stories, meet them where they are - and say Thank you!

  • Be willing to take time ‘off’ your career path for a sabbatical if you want;

  • Change on a dime by putting in a nickel;

  • Experience!

  • Love yourself and those around you;

  • Be joyful - it’s more meaningful and lasting than being happy;

  • Ask for help! Not knowing takes guts, courage and it’s how we learn;

  • Say yes to more hard things than you want to do - grow your comfort zone;

  • If you believe it can be awesome, it can;

  • Don’t be surprised by your successes!

  • Always do something for someone else, always give back;

  • Be curious, open and skeptical;

  • …

What I Wish I'd Known 20+ Years Ago

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Words of wisdom from alumnae of the 1970's-90's to 2000's-'13, based on our successes, failures, experiences, yearnings and hopes.  I'm indebted to Barbara Laskey Weinreich for regularly hosting this gathering of women and to Karen Berlin Ishii for compiling this wisdom. Please pass it along - and add to it!

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  • Show, don't tell.
  • Know what you can control.
  • Show up! Be double-booked, put more stuff on your calendar than you can possibly do.
  • Use your skills and interests. The more you say it, you become it. Volunteer! Engage!
  • Be your own best advocate. Don't wait for someone to come along and say that you can do it; tell them yourself!
  • Don't be afraid to fail.
  • You can have it all, do it all, be it all – but not all three at once.
  • Just because you are good with people, does not mean you are necessarily a good manager.
  • It's good to feel a little out of your depth; that means you are learning something.
  • Ask people to talk to you. Talk to anyone who'll do so. Ask. Say thank-you.
  • Don't be afraid of men. It helps you understand and learn from them.
  • Take a 6 month "independent study" time off from your career.
  • Change on a dime by putting in a nickel.
  • Go into  a ….  experience.
  • Love yourself and those around you.
  • Ask for help.
  • Be gentle with yourself.
  • Take a leap and don't ever say you can't do that. (the men don't!)
  • Life's short: only do the things you want to do in it. Say "yes" more to hard things you want to do and "no" to those that you don't like.
  • Do something you're motivated in or you'll go crazy.
  • If you believe it can be that awesome, it can be that awesome.
  • Don't be surprised by your successes.
  • There's never a good time to have children - just do it!

 What would you add? Please share....