Temper ~ Paradox in the COVID Era

TY Chuck Annable for the photo

TY Chuck Annable for the photo

I love paradoxes and oxymorons; they get us to extend our comfort zone. So, I started thinking about the word “temper.”*  [Aside ~ my mom felt English was the inanest language on earth - the same sounding word was spelled and meant too many different things (write, right, rite, etc.).  In all fairness, English was her 7th language].

Temper has several noun and verb meanings that are contradictory.

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Since COVID-19 started, we’re juggling many different jobs, tasks, emotions, needs, skills, ideas, plans, people, and circumstances simultaneously. The paradox of Temper is obvious.  We’re trying to balance being calm, consistent, resilient at work for those we lead and manage and/or at home while inside we may be angry, frustrated, and exhausted.  We are the counterbalance to the angst and fear our employees and peers feel.  As leaders, we’re constantly tuning the pulse of the organization to keep it going, growing, hopefully thriving.  We have to be as strong as steel and vulnerable (elastic?) enough so others feel safe and free to come to us. 

Mackerel Sky ~ Pemaquid, ME

Mackerel Sky ~ Pemaquid, ME

Everything seems to be a paradox today.  Life has always been paradoxical, it’s just more ‘in your face’ today than  before COVID-19. In pre-COVID-19 days, embracing paradox was not as painful (usually).  During COVID-19, it’s darn hard.  My hope for you is that, in one of the rare calmer moments, any learning from and during this time can take root, so when you come out on the other side, you can use that new wisdom and insight for good - for your family, your team, your company, yourself.

Wear your mask, keep your distance, be safe.

*Many thanks & love to Ryan Brown, one of my bluest blue lobsters, for our discussion about ‘temper’ & for the lasting legacy of his work & passion that is still positively changing Brown University’s School of Engineering!!!


Atoms vs. Bits - Making Matters

Students working on projects in the Brown Design Workshop

Students working on projects in the Brown Design Workshop

We live in a world infatuated with bits (tech).  We value, encourage, praise bit-making over atom-making.  Creating with atoms doesn’t have the cache or import it once did, and we’ve lost something precious by doing so.  Our hands* were not made (just) for typing, they were made to be sources of input to our brains to learn about our world – and learn by creating.

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Making, physically making, with atoms, not bits (or at least not just bits), is powerful!  Numerous studies have shown the power of physically making for muscle memory, learning new cognitive skills, and much more.  Making helps us develop empathy, helps us learn to iterate and prototype, to try stuff

Making with atoms usually involves almost all, if not all of our 5 senses – we use sight, touch/texture, hearing, smell and even taste, think cooking!  If you ever created with wood, do you remember the constant touch & texture of sanding an edge? Eyeing a joint? The amazing smell of cut wood (ahhh!)**? the sound of a planer or saw so you knew it was working perfectly? Making builds a sense of self-confidence and self-sufficiency, of knowing you can be ok, you can rely on yourself if need be.  And, making is a source of peace, calmness, harmony in our very hectic anxious lives.

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Making is how we learn about our world, both in reality and as a metaphor.  For instance, if you build a drawer by just nailing the sides together, does it have the same stability, endurance and resilience as a dovetailed drawer? By building both types of drawers, what could we learn, extrapolate about systems-level thinking vs. discrete parts? Doesn’t this resemble our healthcare, education and other failing systems - as a bunch of parts nailed together instead of dovetailed? By making, we can see why systems matter and how to design them.

As you go through the rest of this month, what can you make – out of Legos, Play-Doh (yes, it’s for adults too), food, wood, glass, paper and pen? It doesn’t have to be big, it doesn’t have to be profound, it doesn’t need to be auctioned off by Sotheby’s.  Just make something – for yourself or with someone.  With someone is even better.  Because, remember – we’re made of atoms, not bits.

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*The Hand: How Its Use Shapes the Brain, Language, and Human Culture

**If anyone ever wonders why I love doing my office hours in the Brown Design Workshop, just come in and smell the wood!

Reflections ~ One Month Post-BIF

Saul Kaplan Starting Day 2 of BIF - Photo by Stephanie Alvarez Ewens

Saul Kaplan Starting Day 2 of BIF - Photo by Stephanie Alvarez Ewens

Every year, the crew at BIF lets me bring a bunch of my Brown University students to BIF. My students are of all ethnicities, backgrounds, years and concentrations - #STEAM. This year, I asked the kids to share their reflections. Profound, personal, hopeful, cautious. Here are their thoughts.

Everyone is special and has something to offer the world and to teach each of us

Too often, too many people go unnoticed and unappreciated by society and by even by themselves. Miraculously, people find and activate their potential, even when they didn’t think they had any. That potential, when realized, impacts others - helping them see their potential and getting and giving second, third plus chances. Despite what we hear from the media, our world is filled with good people. Everyone has something to teach us … and everyone is magic.

LISTEN! Stories matter!

LISTEN! It’s important to let stories soak into us and to find ways they can inform & improve our own lives and experiences. Stories are how we learn from the very beginning. They are examples, not instructional guidelines (which are 1 size fits all). Stories aren’t a “do this, do that, then this happens.” They require us, the listener, to do the work of weighing that story against our own values and decide how and what parts to apply to our own lives. Stories can make magic happen.

Use the Network for Good.

The network, along with many of our privileged lives, has the potential for doing good. Our networks and advantages can and should be used to open opportunities for others. There are so many great people in the world. You have to be open to finding them, willing to meet them and to expand your network with and for them. The network spreads magic.

It seemed that, in particular, this year, BIF invigorated my students to make a difference (which is saying a lot since these kids are wired to have a positive impact by default!). They left with Darden Smith’s words - Know where you are starting, what you stand for, who you’re not, and be willing to wander and wonder! Then, think big and run with it!

Trinity Rep Dome. Photo by Stephanie Alvarez Ewens

Trinity Rep Dome. Photo by Stephanie Alvarez Ewens

A very special thanks to BIF for letting my 20+ students attend and to my students for sharing their thoughts (Samanee, Salko, David, Eric, Kyra, Stefan, Manny and others).